Can you read this?

I come to you with a humble heart to share sad news. 

I have reached a new chapter in my life.

Unfortunately, I can no longer stay in the life I once had.

Things must change.

Change is hard, and unfortunately this change will affect not only me, but my children and husband as well.

I have battled against this for a long time, unwilling and unable to accept my fate.

I really didn't want to make this decision, and it is almost embarrassing to confess it in such a public forum.

Alas, I can pretend no longer.

The time has come...................... for me to purchase a large print Bible.

{ What did you THINK I was talking about??!! :) }

I sat in the floor of Lifeway yesterday trying to pick out a Bible that I can grow old with.  That just ticked me off and made me want to cry at the same time.  I'm not blind and I don't even wear glasses (yet), but I have cataracts and astigmatism, so at the very least I have been putting off getting reading glasses.  Ugh and Uga Uga.  Anyway, I sat in the floor contimplating my aging body and mind and realized that I was picking out the Bible that I would die with.  What kind of sick, morbid thought is that??

Today is a different outlook, however.  I have decided to get busy living instead of getting busy dying.  My kids need me.  My husband needs me (more than he knows!).  There are others that depend on me.  And, most importantly, God isn't finished with me.  I have discovered that, when God is done with you, he calls you home.  So instead of grieving my failing eyesight, I will rejoice that I can still see.  Instead of worrying about the years I have left, I will live those years to the fullest.  Instead of looking back on a life of regret, I will look at that Bible in future years and remember sermons and Bible studies with my children and reflect on where I was and where God led me to.  I will embrace each day of age, and not spend it in regret and disappointment.

I had the pleasure of having dinner out with my husband last night (child-free!) and I was telling him my Bible story.  He was giving me 'that look' that translates into "oh boy - here we go!".  I told him that I planned and intended to use that Bible until the day I died, and when I did die, I wanted that Bible to be so worn out and used up that no one else would want it.  I want it to be marked in, underlined, and noted upon.  I want my children to remember their mama reading that Bible every day.  I want them to FIGHT over who gets mama's Bible.   For you see?  I have also realized an important fact.  A Bible that is worn out, torn up and used usually belongs to someone that isn't.   If I can leave a legacy to this future generation, let it be that.  Let them remember their imperfect mother serving a PERFECT GOD.