My mom and I took off last Friday for a whirlwind trip to Knoxville. We had a wonderful day, and the twins really enjoyed the break from "school". As we were coming home, mom was telling me about somebody that they eat breakfast with regularly, and the conversation turned to a boy (her words) that I went to high school with. After 20 years, I don't consider him a boy anymore, but to her he still is. Apparently, mom and dad had gone to a car show as a promise to this "boy"'s father (the breakfast buddy). When my mom walked up, he looked up at her and said, out of the blue, "you're Anita's mom, aren't you?". When she replied "yes", he proceeded to tell his mother that I was the one that took him under my wing and helped him out in high school.
Well..... after about 20 minutes, I am fairly certain I know who she's talking about. Even though I now know Rodney's name, I still have no memory whatsoever of taking him on as a class pet! Apparently, we had lunch together and I took him around the cafeteria and showed him where to go, how to pay, what not to eat, and let him sit with me and my friends. Folks - I have no memory of this. None. Nada. Nothing. But that's not the important part - Rodney does.
That was my lesson to pass on to my future generations. That was my 'ah-ha!' moment for the week. It is so important that L and S learn now that how they treat others has a profound impact on their memories. How easily he could have had bad memories of me. He could have remembered how I was mean to him, pushed him down the stairs, etc. Now ... am I tooting my own horn?? Goodness no!!!!! Like I said - I have no memory of doing/saying anything to Rodney. And that's the point. He has a good memory of me, but does everyone in my past??? Nope. Nada. And that breaks my heart. I have bad memories of childhood bullies, and to be honest, I'm not fond of them to this day. I remember the youth group at the church where I grew up. They were all 2 years older than me, and they never included me. I know... wah wah wah Anita. It didn't ruin my life, but it did shape it - I hope for the better. I remember how it feels to be left out, even to this day, and I don't like it. And I'll be honest, I don't like Richard - he was the ring leader. He went out of his way to make my life miserable. I hated church because of him. I don't hate him, but I don't like him, either. See where I'm going with this?? I could have been a Richard to someone. I don't want to do that. I don't want to be that. I don't want to be the one that people try to hide from in the grocery store. I don't want to be someone that people avoid, or roll their eyes and breathe a sigh of relief when they walk away.
A good friend that I used to go to church with was teaching our youth class during VBS and everyone had to say something good about someone else. I haven't had an abundance of nice things said about me during the course of my life - at least none I could hear. Imagine my utter shock when she picked me, and then said that the thing she liked about me was that I was the same, no matter where I was or who I was with. I treated everyone the same. I've never forgotten that. I try to continue to live up to those words, although I fail miserably at times!!!
I want these lessons to sink in, while their brain is still flexible enough to absorb them. I want them to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. I want them to know that their actions today affect tomorrow's outcome. I want them to grieve when they hurt someone. I want them to embrace "I'm sorry", because they need to say it often. I want them to love the unlovable. I want them to forgive.
I want them to be better than me.
